Gay Marriage and American Society — It’s Not Really All About Love or Hate

Well, time to get on the bandwagon. I’ve been reading a lot about “love” and “hate” lately though I don’t much care to join in the cacophony of that debate.  Those two terms are literally being worn to a frazzle in the public arena – by myriads of people without knowledge enough to adequately label hate, and by hosts of others without experience enough to do justice to love.

That’s why I find the discussion disturbing.  Because the issues of abortion, or morality, or same-sex marriage may or may not have anything to do with love or hate – though they are constantly identified by such hashtags.  For example, all nice people are obviously in favor of love and of same-sex marriage – because they’re nice.  It’s just that simple.  (And I emphasize the word simple.) And that’s all there is to it.  So don’t argue!

On the other hand, anyone who opposes same-sex marriage, must oppose it because they are hateful – and are therefore very, very bad people.  (These deluded persons may also be “homophobic”, another of our favorite new words.)  But it doesn’t get more complicated than that.  There can be no other explanation for their beliefs and the commitment they have to those beliefs.  They are either hateful or they are scared.  “Simple.”  (Get a dictionary. Look it up.)

These are the basic arguments of right and wrong in the issue, and they should worry us because of their childish over-simplicity.  Because not everyone who opposes same-sex marriage (or even a fraction by my experience) is hateful or phobic.  They just don’t believe same-sex marriage is a good idea.  And by the same token, not everyone in favor of same-sex marriage is a proponent for the welfare of the gay-lesbian community.  In fact I’m convinced most of them don’t give a hoot — at least specifically.  They take their cue from the freedom-loving crowd which rose to cult popularity in the 1960s.  Their leadership stands unyieldingly against war, and poverty, and social injustice, and animal cruelty, and the burning of the rain forests – you know, all those things the rest of us really like.  And for decades they’ve made it no secret that they are sick and tired of society telling them what they should and shouldn’t do – and they are anxious to open the gates and usher in the Brave New World.  Peace, Love, Kumbaya!

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with that.  Everybody should have a right to believe as they wish and to speak their mind – well, until lately, that is.  But please, let’s just drop this knee-jerk drivel that the entire argument is about either love or hatefulness.  It is not.  And to suggest naively that it is, is an insult to real examples of life-changing love in our society as well as a careless nod to ugly illustrations of true uncompromising hatred and evil that do infest our world.

One more thing.  The misuse and misapplication of the English language (particularly “love” and “hate’) in the name of sensationalism also does a genuine and heartless disservice to friends of mine — good people — who do happen to be gay, who are being politicized and pandered to by self-serving public figures and the manipulative mass media who fawn over them.

And yes, I guess I do hate that.



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2 thoughts on “Gay Marriage and American Society — It’s Not Really All About Love or Hate

  1. Rex Herfurth

    As usual Mr. Stirling, your comments and opinions are insightful and interesting… my opinion. One thing that does bother me today…..and it’s not a new thing……just seems to be very intense at this time right now…….the strong tide to shut down honest discussions and truthful and factual debates and opinions involving many topics. In the end we need absolute truth and facts no matter where it leads… my opinion. It is terribly hard to have calm and useful back and forth on many topics today without……like you are pointing out here, people getting into a yelling, screaming all out fight over things. Too many times people are just intimidated into just keeping our opinions to ourselves…..I’ve got to admit….I’m getting that way for now., too. I can’t continue to be this way forever, I know…..there are too many extremely important issues at hand these days. And talk about being intimidated… giving my comment or opinion to someone like you….an accomplished writer and author. BTW, I do have some gay friends on fb and I treat them like any other friend I have. I hope this made some sense. I will wish you a good day sir.

  2. Ryan Jones

    Thank you for your ability to express what I feel so eloquently. I was not blessed with the gift of eloquent speech or writing, but so wish I did as I feel the same way, but unable to share it the way you do. Probably why I enjoy reading your blog so much. Keep it up, and thank you so much for your wise wisdom.


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